My wife and I manage a mobile home park. She does the majority of the work and I help when needed which is usually when tenants cannot resolve a conflict or they push for unreasonable requests. Many times we have to say, “No.” No, you cannot pay less rent because you bought a car. No, you cannot plug into your neighbor’s trailer and use their electricity. No, you have to get rid of some your cats; 40 is too many. No, you can’t get a restraining order against your neighbor who lives 30 feet away. No, you cannot operate a meth lab from your residence. And the list goes on. Even another property manager we know has had to say, “No.” No, you cannot keep your furniture on the roof. No, you cannot barbeque in the kitchen. No, you cannot dig a hole in your front yard, drive onto the lawn and drain your oil.
Even reasonable requests sometimes need to be denied, because it is not the best course of action. As a father and a teacher occasionally I need to tell my kids and my students, “No.” It’s not because I don’t love them, I really do. I’d like to grant all their requests, but that’s not always doable or beneficial. I care for them, therefore, I use the broader experience, deeper wisdom, and more objective perspective I have as their elder to look out for their safety and their best interest. Although, “No” is not what they want to hear, I don’t say it just to be dismissive, restrictive, or negative. I say it only when necessary, knowing that doing so will lead to something better.
The same is true with God. He desires to share the unimaginable riches of his glory with all who love him (Ephesians 1:3-14; James 1:17). Many times he will say, “Yes” to your request. Sometimes he will say no, but it is really not yet because either you aren’t quite ready or he is working others things out first. When he says, “No,” it’s always for your best. It may be hard to understand that at times, because most people think happiness comes from getting what they want. Their focus on themselves and their immediate gratification can blind them to a greater investment God is making which pays dividends in the future. When I discussed this truth with my daughter, she shared an insight she had recently written in her journal, “When God says no, it’s because he wants so much more for me. He isn’t calling me to give up my happiness but, rather, to look beyond my tiny view of what happiness is. The more I look at my picket fence dreams, the more I notice the peeling paint and the grass that has turned brown despite constant watering.”
God told the prophet Isaiah, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’” (Isaiah 55:8-9). God always was and always will be. He knows everything and everyone. The reach of his loving embrace encircles all of creation. His power to save and restore knows no limit. You desire happiness, but God desires holiness knowing that that is the only way to true happiness. He wants you to be set apart in character and purpose, so that you and others can be with him, can be like him, and can do what he does. Therefore, be willing to accept, “No” even if it costs you happiness now, because you trust that it will result in a reward of godly character, divine mission, maturity, wisdom, and contentment. Along the way as you accept no and submit to God’s guidance you will experience an abiding joy which transcends temporary happiness.
Here are four brief examples.
- Around 1,000 B.C. the nation of Israel requested to serve a human king rather than serve God directly as their king. God allowed Saul to become king. Sadly, Saul didn’t obey God and so God rejected him as king and anointed David instead. However, while Saul still ruled he grew jealous of David’s military success, popularity, and potential threat to his throne. Saul sought to kill David. David fled and lived as a fugitive in the wilderness for several years. Saul pursued him many times. At one point David had the opportunity to kill Saul, but he didn’t act on that opportunity (1 Samuel 24). David accepted God’s no, you shall not murder, even though killing Saul would have given him vengeance, ended his suffering, allowed him to return to his family and friends, and set him up as king.
- The apostle Paul suffered from a “thorn in the flesh” which caused ongoing pain and agony. He wrote in his letter to the Corinthians, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Paul accepted God’s no, even though it meant suffering, because he trusted it would result in God’s grace and power.
- Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus that their brother, Lazarus, was sick. Jesus loved all three of them, yet instead of immediately going to them he sent a message back, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Jesus waited and went to them after Lazarus had already died. He told his disciples, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.” Upon Jesus’ arrival Mary and Martha and the whole community were grieving Lazarus’ death. He had been in the tomb for four days. The sisters were hurt and bewildered that Jesus had not come in time to save him. Martha accepted the fact that Jesus did not save her brother. She consoled herself that he would rise again in the resurrection at the end of the age. Jesus spoke truth into her grief, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” Martha, replied, “Yes, Lord.” Then Jesus called out Lazarus from the tomb and miraculously raised him from the dead (John 11). Martha accepted God’s no to healing her brother even though it grieved her deeply. This allowed her to experience a greater glory and a strengthening of her faith when Jesus raised him to life.
- Before Jesus innocently took on the sin of the world and bore the wrath of God on people’s behalf, he prayed, asking God to find another way. God answered, there is no other way. So Jesus humbly and gladly accepted God’s no and carried out the will of his father. He was then betrayed, abandoned, mocked, tortured, forsaken, and crucified. But God honored his love and obedience, raised him from the dead to conquer sin, death, and Satan, and exalted him above all (Matthew 26:36-46; Philippians 2:6-11).
Conclusion
God wants you to bring your requests and concerns to him (Philippians 4:4-7). He lovingly listens, understands, empathizes, and intervenes. However, his answer and his actions may be different than you expect, for his masterful methods and perfect timing transcend yours. Accept his way, even when he says, “no” or “not yet.” Like David, when you are tempted to shortcut God’s path for your life and take matters into your own hands, stop and obey instead. Like Paul, when you are asking God to end suffering, but it continues, find grace and power in his deliverance through it rather than from it. Like Martha, when you don’t understand why God doesn’t seem to answer or come through in time, believe that he is at work saving in a greater way, yet to be revealed. Cast your cares on God for he cares for you. Confide in him. Like Jesus, pour out your pain, your petitions, and your preferences. But then leave it with him. Praise him for who he is. Praise him for what he will do—it is always for your best. Then humbly trust and obey. Joyfully move forward at peace in his loving hands. Seek holiness before happiness—to be set apart with God and for God, and you will be blessed. “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).
Note: You might enjoy a song along this theme by Mercy Me. It’s titled, “Even If.”