Ten years ago my dad died. He trusted and obeyed God and is now in heaven, for which I am so grateful. Today was his birthday, he would have been 80 years old. He had a big impact on my life and is one of the reasons I grew to know and love God. I miss him. Any loss is difficult, but losing someone you love is especially painful. Working through stages of grief helps. When you finally reach the last stage which is acceptance, learning to appreciate and utilize what you learned from your loved one is a blessed way to honor them and to become better yourself. As I reflect on losing my dad, I seek to gain from loss not just regarding him but in my relationships with others, my relationship with the world, and most of all my relationship with God. I encourage you to gain from loss also.
Giving up what you can’t keep to gain what you can’t lose is fundamental wisdom in following God. Many examples are found throughout the Bible. Jesus taught, “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” (Matthew 16:25-26). Similarly the apostle Paul wrote, “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).
Here are some practical suggestions for redeeming loss in three types of relationships:
Redeeming Loss in Your Relationships with Others
Pray, asking God to help you see others the way he does as valuable people whom God loves and wants to save. Be kind to your enemies. Appreciate something about those you disagree with. If you’ve been hurt by someone, forgive them. If prudent, even try to reconcile. Reflect on those who’ve passed away, and put into practice what you’ve learned from them.
Redeeming Loss in Your Relationship with Society
Currently in the United States we are losing freedoms and fundamental rights because of governmental overreach, corruption, and deception. The government is aggressively pushing socialism through medical tyranny, unenforced immigration laws, unfair elections, partnership with media to misinform and censor, restrictions on religion, redefinition of gender, marriage, and family, environmental over-regulation, reckless overspending, and calling good evil and evil good. This is a manifestation of spiritual warfare. Socialism rooted in communism is not only atheistic, but I believe also satanic. The writings of Karl Marx and the oppressive treatment of people under communist regimes make this evident. So how does one gain from losses caused by such formidable foes? Some people don’t even try to glean goodness or foster change, because they figure it’s prophesied in the Bible that inevitably our world would become like this in the end times. I disagree with that approach. I think God is calling you to a greater response. Until Jesus returns or brings you home, by his grace and power, be salt and light amidst the decay and darkness.
Pray for his kingdom to come and his will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Ask for wisdom on what you can do to serve others and to further the gospel using your time, talents, treasure, and tasks. Don’t worry about what you can’t do; just be faithful in what you can. It will involve letting go of your pride, comfort, and goals to gain justice and mercy on behalf of others as God guides you.
Redeeming Loss in Your Relationship with God
Your relationship with God is made possible by Jesus, who died and rose again so you can be saved from your sin and enjoy new, everlasting life. This life is defined by more than knowing about God. To truly follow Jesus is to become like him. In the Bible, John the Baptizer said of Jesus, “He must become greater; I must become less” (Jon 3:30). Although John was talking about his public ministry which was to prepare people for Jesus’ arrival as the Messiah, it is true in your personal relationship with God. By the power of God as you die to your self-centered way of life, shedding your vices, you are free to receive Jesus, grow in faith, and be transformed into the likeness of Jesus. Jesus told his followers, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). Your loss is actually tremendous gain. Becoming like Jesus supernaturally changes the quality and outlook of your life now, it enables you to best benefit others, and it prepares you to joyfully serve God throughout eternity as a part of his family.
Humbly pray for God to forgive and renew you. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). David, king of Israel, knew this to be true. He prayed, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24). Let God refine you like silver in a crucible’s fire, like clay in a master craftsman’s hands, like a child with a loving father (Psalm 66; Isaiah 64:8; Jeremiah 18:1-11; Ephesians 2:10; Psalm 103:13). Stay dependent on God for his power is made perfect in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Find your greatest pleasure in pleasing God. Run the marathon of faith, throwing off or working around off anything that opposes or hinders progress, and fix your eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:1-3).
The losses in your life don’t have to cripple you. Satan would like to see that happen, for he steals, destroys, and kills. Fortunately God has a better plan for you. Paul wrote to believers, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Although God must judge evil he always extends mercy first. Although he disciplines people it’s always in love to correct them so they can share in his holiness and peace (Hebrews 12:7-13). When your foolish choices or Satan’s wicked schemes bring painful consequences, God offers love, forgiveness, salvation, acceptance, healing, and strength for those who will receive him. Exchange every single one of your losses for gain by trusting and obeying Jesus.