At various times I’ve had a chance to discuss the topic of relationships with my high school students. Perhaps you have thought about relationships now and then also. It’s an important topic, because life is made of relationships. Each of us needs to be loved and in turn needs to love. Unfortunately, some people have a lopsided view of love. Their concept revolves around infatuation, romance, or self-gratification. It is based more on personal feelings or a quid pro quo return on investment, rather than on selfless giving. True love includes feelings, but goes much deeper. Love is a commitment to make the life of another better, even when it costs you dearly.
We learn this from God. God is love and he is fully committed to you and your best. He gave you the greatest gift—himself. He sent Jesus, God the Son, to die and rise again so anyone who trusts and obeys him can have abundant life now and forever (1 John 4:8; Romans 5:8; John 3:16; 2 Corinthians 8:9).
It seems like these days people struggle with commitment more than in the past. Many people live in a consumer age of specialty products, overnight shipping, on-demand entertainment, and personalized services. They’ve grown accustomed to a plethora of options. So to commit to one thing, whatever it is, seems limiting and nearsighted. This can negatively impact friendships and marriages. If someone is not committed in a relationship then as soon as they feel unsatisfied they will seek other options like people, substances, or activities to try and fill the void in their heart. That’s not love and it kills relationships. True love seeks to give rather than receive. Jesus said, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:12-13). Imagine what your world could be like if you loved others like Jesus loves you.
With God’s help you can do it. First ask him to save you, for salvation is found in no one else (Acts 4:12). Then let him love through you. Commit your past to him. Confess any sin or hurts and he promises to cleanse you and heal you (1 John 1:9; Psalm 34:18) Commit your present to him. Look to him to fulfill your every need rather than to other people. Find your rest and completeness in him. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-8). Commit your future to him. “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.” (Psalm 37:4-6). God is faithful. He will transform you into all that you were designed to be in Christ (Ephesians 1:3-10; Philippians 1:6).
When you commit to God and then to others you gain much more than you give up. When you put God and others before yourself it will be hard at times, but worth the sacrifice. Committing does not constrain you. It frees you to experience the fullness of God’s blessings. For whenever you give of yourself, God fills you with more of himself to overflowing. Then all your relationships benefit from him working in you and through you.